YO-YO DIETER TO HEALTH COACH: GIVING WOMEN THE TOOLS TO TRUST THEIR BODIES
I used to binge eat, especially at night.
I’d make rules to stay away from foods like “no sweets”.
I’d cut out foods and tell myself I couldn't have peanut butter or trail mix.
I chose the lowest calorie food because that’s ALL that mattered, less is better, right?
The more I sweat the better my workout.
Can you guess how this turned out? Did I hit my goals with these rules?
How to Break the Impossible Weight-Loss Rules That We Set For Ourselves
While you can probably guess there’s a teaching within my story (several to be more accurate) I can tell you there’s a Hallmark happy ending and I did achieve my goals, but it wasn't via these rules.
(PS: Anyone else fully into the seasonal Hallmark movies?! I’ve been cozying up with my favorite collagen hot chocolate and soaking in the cheesy, happy, holiday spirit they bring me)
The not-so funny thing about the rules I would make for myself, is that I truly thought the rules were the answer to finally looking how I wanted to look. However, now knowing what I know (over 15 years later after diving deep into studies, courses and certifications), it was these “rules” that were actually fueling the on again, off again cycle.
Now, don’t get this confused with personalized rules and guidelines for seasons of life and goals. That’s different from what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about are rules we make up based on our (not personalized, studied or thoroughly understood) beliefs. These are rules based on what others are doing that worked for them. Based on something we once read or that someone said. Based on really good marketing…
Start by Changing Your Relationship With Food
Listen, I spent years feeling so conflicted around food. Food felt like the enemy. I’d blame my body. I’d shame and guilt myself. I felt terrible for not being able to stick to ‘my word’ of staying away from x food, again.
You want to know the key thing that changed my relationship with food AND my shape. The simple act of logging my food. Food logging is nothing more than data and decisions. It isn’t a diet. It is a tool.
It meshed my wants and needs. It ‘allowed’ me flexibility, grace and better nourishment. It taught me that what I thought I was doing wasn’t what I was actually doing, therefore saving me from a lot more guilty, shameful, all-or-nothing days.
To me, logging is less painful than the frustration of weeks or months not seeing changes happen.
To me, logging is less painful than questioning why the things I want aren’t happening.
To me, logging is less painful than wondering over and over “is this okay to eat”, “is this too much”, “should I be eating more of this or less of that”?
No, the app doesn’t answer those questions directly, a qualified professional helps you do that.
Logging my food helped me understand my body and my digestion, it helped me further learn about nutrients and that my body actually handles carbs well, like really well. It helped me to stop all or nothing cycles, stop binging at night, stop questioning why change isn’t happening when I was eating healthy!
Eating healthy, clean, wild caught, organic, whole foods is fabulous, now you need to partner that with the amounts of nutrients and that’s where logging food comes in.
Learn From My Mistakes, Listen to Your Body
I owe a lot to these painful years because the experience caused me to go searching for sustainable solutions, for me, and for others.
And now, dedicating 15+ years of building my knowledge and expertise, (I could argue much longer as I really started learning and studying health at the age of 13!) on top of the experience IN similar thought patterns and behaviors that my typical client is or has been in, I know I can help someone navigate and get out of that cycle, once, and for all (for starters, check out these transformations!)
My goal with telling you all of this is to relate. Because relating drives trust and trust is hard these days. And maybe trust was always hard, but I particularly see so many struggling to not only trust in a person to guide but also the process and also in themselves. Learning to trust is one of the feelings I aim to give back to my clients.
I Want Women to Trust in Their Bodies Once Again
Trust in your body should be innate, but after talking with so many women hearing them blame their body for how they are feeling, I know it is not innate. And I have a lot to say about that alone.
Our body responds to inputs. It doesn’t just do things alone. It is taking in all the things we are choosing to do on a daily basis and creating its cellular self. That’s the truth. And I think a lot of us are hesitant to believe or understand that because it puts a responsibility on us that feels… daunting? Scary? Or maybe it feels empowering? Or brings you a lot of hope?
To me, it’s empowering. It’s control. And it means possibility. It’s an opportunity that I welcome to continue learning about myself, about my abilities, my triggers, my challenges, my strengths and so much more. Life around us is always changing and to me, that control of being able to input specific things that help me feel grounded, energetic and full of life, is a pleasure and a joy.
Health is something you can’t fail at. The only way you fail is if you stop trying. So for those of you that feel stuck, lost, lacking hope, in pain or defeated,
Keep trying. If you don’t try, nothing will change. If you try, there's a possibility that something will.
Health is always going to be an effort. I correct people all the time who comment “you’re so dedicated” or “you’re just a natural”. No one is innately ‘good’ at health. Health is a choice. It’s a series of decisions, choices and actions. It’s a never ending set of efforts that DO get easier over time. And the reason I might make them look easy is because I have found strategies and systems that work to make them easy-er. My effort is less now. I took the time to learn, create routines, habits and build strategies.
You are human and that right there means you are capable.
If I could give you 10 pieces of advice that would save you the pain, hustle, disappointment and frustration that I went through, these would be them:
Focus on feelings
Choose the healthier option, choose movement, choose self care because of how it makes you feel, not because of how it changes your body.
2. Understand why you tend to give up or lose motivation.
Most of the time it has to do with the fact that what you need to get better at, is a weakness and you’re either going too hard too fast or you’re not getting the appropriate help to build that weakness.
3. Find strength in sustained training, not trends.
Focus on strength training, and not the trendy, flashy combination moves you see on instagram and tik tok. Real strength training. The kind where you focus on getting stronger in a position like a shoulder press. And you do that over and over for 6-8 weeks until you change the exercise. Results come from strength increases, not ‘the burn’.
4. Stop making ‘food limitation’ promises to yourself that you know you aren’t going to keep.
Doing this isn’t just causing your body to distrust you, it is causing you to distrust you. Instead of eliminating foods, think on a continuum, like more whole foods, quality protein and organic produce and less of the stuff you would typically indulge in. Think less of the more indulgent, longer ingredient list items. And instead of none, some.
5. Log, log, log!
If you have never logged your food before. Just do it. Stop trying all the things BUT it. It isn’t a diet, it is data. It’s often data most people I think are scared to know but it’s not scary, it’s the answer. You will surprise yourself by how much you think you are eating and how little you actually are, 9 out of 10 times this is what I see!
6. Try out a coach
If you are scared of food, yet know you likely need to eat more, utilize a professional, you won’t regret it. I’ve had over 10 coaches in my lifetime and 8 of those were during the time I was also a qualified health professional. We all need coaches at different times in our life journey to help us navigate what we aren’t able to on our own, to help us streamline knowledge, or to even bring a different perspective.
7. Look at the whole picture
Nutrition and fitness are only PART of the equation to your physique and health change. Which means, if nutrition and fitness are not working, it means that:
1: You are either using the tools incorrectly.
2: You are not doing what you say or think you are doing, consistently or accurately enough.
3: There is something deeper going on.
8. Don’t bump sleep to the bottom of the list
Sleep and stress are the two most important areas to focus on if they are not in place. Focus on those before your movement and nutrition. These decide how much nutrition and fitness will even support you.
9. Prioritize R&R
Recovery is likely a missing piece in why you are not seeing the changes you desire. Your body is BUILT the other 23 hours of the day. Most think the hour in the gym is what builds their body, yes strength training - progressive strength training, is necessary to build muscle, however when you are in the gym you are breaking down muscle fibers, to build them up and stronger you need to recover. Recovery consists of sleep, stress management, hydration and nutrition. Prioritize these as hard, if not harder, than you prioritize your training.
10. If it’s time, accept help
If you’ve gone more than 3 months questioning if what you are doing is working - Get. Professional. Help.
You will go many more months and years doing this same pattern. You are not meant to know it all, we need objectivity because we are emotional humans, and you only know what you know, there is so much you don’t know and that is why an outsider's look is so key. I pushed this off for so long, mainly because I didn't know the help I needed existed. It does and it’s not a dietician, it’s a functional health coach.
It’s Time to Break Free From Your Rules
I ask you to take a step back from your weight-loss rules and ask yourself what is working for you? Are your limitations actually bringing about the change you desire? How are these rules making you FEEL? And most importantly, do you trust your body?
This time of year there is so much pressure on us from social media and OURSELVES. Try out my 10 pieces of advice. Focus on these rather than your ‘rules’ and see how you feel.
VRHC coaches and I are always here to chat. If you have no trust in your body or if you passed that 3 month marker so long ago you can’t remember when it was, it’s definitely time to seek advice. Get in touch and see how we could help!